How To Maintain Your Dating Standards During Quarantine
The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 is starting to get to all of our heads.
We're stuck in the house, and many of us are finding ourselves getting caught up doing things that we normally wouldn't, entertaining people we normally wouldn't, for the sake of boredom and the desire for human contact of some sort. After talking with some of my single girlfriends, I realized that there's been one common thread: we've all been tempted to lower our standards a bit because we don't have anything better to do.
It turns out that even in the midst of a pandemic, you'll find that men everywhere are still trying to spend time with you. The big difference is that now, there is no way to properly date or vet these men to see if they're actually worthy of your time and energy. If they want to fly you out to see them, flights are as low as $20... the cost of two Uber trips. Instead of taking you out or making plans to do something to impress you, the only real option is to go to one another's house. These circumstances are a low-effort guy's DREAM! Not only do they not have to court you, but Netflix & Chilling with them so soon can cause you to do things you normally would make them wait for in real life. It's a lose-lose situation!
I know there are Women out there who are already in committed relationships, or who are okay with having a random Quarantine Bae... those ladies can skip over this post. But for the single ladies who have spent a lot of time establishing personal boundaries in dating and focusing on their level-up journey, it's important that you don't backslide because of the circumstances at hand. With that being said, I've come up with a list of ways you can maintain your boundaries during this quarantine without compromising your beliefs or standards. Let's dig in!
1) Put A Pause On Online Dating.
To put it plainly, now's NOT the time to be focused on "dating" people you've never met. The whole point of online dating is to take the connection offline and get to the first, second, and third dates. There is no possible way to do that during a global pandemic. It's understandable to entertain guys on your dating apps from time to time, but it's kinda ridiculous to be using this time to create a whole relationship based on phone and internet conversations with a random man.
It's not that serious. Lay off the apps for a minute, it's not going to kill you.
2) Don't Go To Their Homes, And Don't Let Them In Yours.
It doesn't matter if he promises to wear a mask and gloves. It doesn't matter if he has a nice ass house and a stocked fridge. It doesn't matter if he promises not to get touchy feely and that he's not looking for sex. And it most DEFINITELY doesn't matter if he says his home is "Coronavirus free". First of all, how the hell does he know that?! I'm 100% sure he hasn't been tested, just as most of us haven't. It's not smart to put yourself in a risky position all because you haven't been around a man in a few weeks. My thing is, let's see if he has that same energy when everything goes back to normal! If he's really interested in you, he should have no problem waiting until he can really rise to the occasion and date you the right way. He should have no issue coming up with something creative for you both to do while still social distancing. Besides, having company during this time SOUNDS cool, but who really wants to be sitting in someone else's boring house, binging on Netflix, and possibly getting felt up and pressed for sex by a horny stranger while you're watching Tiger King? Not me.
Stay your ass home.
3) Plan A Virtual Date.
Now is the time for the guys to get creative with their date ideas! All because restaurants are closed, doesn't mean food and drink delivery is too. Getting dressed up, him having food delivered to both of your houses, and having a date on Facetime is not only a cute option, but it also shows that he has respect for your boundaries in dating AND when it comes to your health. Watching concerts on Youtube together, planning a movie date from the comfort of your homes, and having flowers or a bottle of wine sent to you are just a few great ways for him to still court you while we're stuck in quarantine.
4) Make Him Prove His "Interest" In Cash.
Let's just put it simply; if you can't ask him for any assistance during this time, you need to rethink the reasons you would even want him around in the first place. If he is the type of guy who would be willing to spend $200+ on a date, then he shouldn't mind sending you that same $200 to make sure your pantry is fully stocked. Even if you don't need the help, you still want to know that the guy you were *considering* spending time with during the quarantine is willing to make sure that you're doing alright, even if it's of no benefit to him. There's plenty of guys who will essentially ask you to put your safety at risk so that he can be in your presence, but which ones are actually willing to make sure you have what you need during a pandemic? It's your job to find out.
5) If You Wouldn't Date Him In Real Life, Don't Entertain Him During A Pandemic.
This one goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. Don't let desperation lead you to strike up a phone-lationship with a guy you randomly met at the grocery store while scouring the canned goods aisle when you know damn well he doesn't meet your standards in real life. Don't use the pandemic as an excuse to get back in contact with your shitty ex boyfriend or that loser you used to "talk" to. You leveled your life up for a reason, and certain people just don't belong in it anymore. I get that a lot of us are relaxing our standards a bit because we're bored and lonely, but at what cost? When all of this is over you're either going to regret your choices or make it harder to move on to the next, so why not save yourself the trouble? Will you really throw all your progress out the window for people who don't serve you any purpose?
You shouldn't settle for anyone that doesn't meet your standards just because the nation is in a weird place.
At the end of the day, this crisis should be causing us all to reflect, to take some time to relax, and to get our minds on track so that we can come out of this stronger than we were before. THAT'S the priority, so dating can honestly wait... but if you're going to attempt to do it, do it in a way that honors your ideals, rather than takes away from them.
Men will ALWAYS be there. They aren't going anywhere. Might as well deal with them on your own terms at all times... especially during a pandemic.